it has been that long ?

it has been forever since my last blog.

to be honest, i don't have the chance. Nor i have the mood of writing it.

this is coupled with nothing interesting to write upon to. has it been a boring year like previous years ? probably not.

i suppose i write because i feel like writing it, and i prefer substance rather than form.

it consistently seemed that it has always been the end of the year i have been given the inspiration to update the blog .. hmm.. maybe it's one of those times where this year is going to an end.

on a personal note , a substantial achievements have been made. life has has not exactly changed, but i'm hoping it's going to be better.

the first lady

i despise politics , although i follow it.

the political development i must say , it's very demeaning. demeaning can be possibly a derivation of demonizing, which is actually the correct term to describe the current political scenario.

leaders what we have right now, as i put has no character. they are loathed with corruption. they have no intellectuality that we can be proud upon to , instead having political extremism and ignorance much to ppl's disgust.

i love my country, thus, i think i deserve the position to criticize.

this goes to the first lady. possibly in history, this must be the first , first lady that we all love to hate. the little piglet.

i despise what she represents.

she's fat, greedy, and absolutely no love for the people.

i'll bet you share my point of view too.

BTZ (Better to .. )

1. i've been reluctant to write this article, but then again i'll regret it if i don't. unlike other articles, this is perhaps quite a serious topic. it requires careful articulation, hoping that the reader won't misintepret what i want to channel. then again, it's good to have other sides of opinion. this is, anyway a democratic country. i, in the cyberspace is ready to be flagged should a situation requires. perhaps this is more towards the readers in the local scene, my beloved malaysia.

2. i seek the reader's maturity and discretion to judge this thoughts of mine.

3. i recall reading an article by the youngest mufti elected in the country, which is unfortunately i forgot his name. i shall look it up and quote it later in my blog. in my opinion, i'd guess he's one of the most calibre (and decorated i guess) mufti in the country, which brings the nations' attention to rejuvenate the role of mufti in this country that has been in a terrible state of decline ever.

4. his articles written are thought provoking, to everybody in all walks of life. this is not sanctioned to the muslims, but all non-muslims as well. i can honestly admit am not a pious nor religious (if you had gone over my past blogs), but i fiercely honor my open state of mind.

5. perhaps his last article (or maybe not) reached out to me in totality and i would like to respond to it.

6. his article discussed the issue of people of our generation (20 onwards) moral decay is due to materialistic expectations from the society. fait accompli, he deduced it's better to zina than marry. this one i totally agree 100%.

7. i mean, let's give a neutral thought about it. Within our society , upon finding a job, we would be expected to settle down by 24 to 30 yrs old. Considering the chances or probability, i would say say most end up in marriage by end 20's .

8. things change , technology and economy would advance through time , but the human behavior will stay intact as long we are biologically intact. we all going to the same phase of life, and we would always experience the chance to love another partner. that's life and that's a face everyone would agree.

9. However the changes can be so fast, much to our disadvantage, and led us to adapt or undertake certain measures that i can be considered unconventional.

10. look at one fact. in the urban area, the economic status of a fresh grad, has been very grieving. the oppressing capitalist economy has caused so much disadvantage that it has damaged every single value in our culture. we have commercialized tradition and culture , and one of them is marriage.

11. Once the 'divine' event has been commercialized, it is very difficult for a normal couple to settle down. Consider the fact, for example marriage costs for a single couple at the cheapest rate is RM20K, which roughly USD5K . A normal working person earns hardly RM2K , a fraction of the marriage cost. This puts a normal young couple a very difficult financial position to assume the total costs , and leading them to even take personal loans, notwithstanding loan sharks !

11a. This is also compounded by highly and frustrating paperworks and nonsense requirements from the religious councils, which only causing unnecessary burden to the applicant.

12. Although the facilities provide an easy way out, this puts these young couple's financial position to be significantly constrained. As a result, they'll be poorer, and it'll lead to high potential of marriage problems later on.

13. The folks however is another story. As we are unintentionally economically advanced, there seems little appreciation of moral and generous values. This would only lead to large disparity of income groups, leading to 'socio-economic' discrimination within the society. Instead advancing forward, our appreciation and values would just only decay to the worst.

14. I don't blame unmarried couples living together , heck i embrace it to justify the injustice of the oppression from the society. the authorities just doesn't care.

Some ideas

1. i would like to apologize to the readers (if there's any) should i have been quite lagging in my updates on my blogs.

2. truth is, i actually have any substance or ideas to write. somehow it requires a situation, or more technically an inspiration to express my thoughts it a more substantial form. i can write all what's happening in my life daily and how terrible it is, but that defeats the purpose why i am blogging in the first place.

3. in another way, i've tried to search for an inspiration, and believe me i have lots of drafts in my posting settings. but screening the substance, well, i'd guess it does not trigger any rather dull subject.

4. this new year so far for me it's difficult, but i'm working my best to achieve outstanding goals i've set last year. they will be some changes, and i'm afraid this year would be a rather significant one. what is it, i don't know.

5. isolating myself and doing things a bit differently gave me a wider perspective of thinking. it doesn't have to be big and creative. just change what i do routinely, and it does gauge a big impact to myself.

6. i'd guess that the major attributes in life. once you're in the comfort zone, you lose the purpose of living. that's the time you'll need to change. not change for the worse, but slightly better. it requires a hell lot of efforts before reaching another comfort zone.

7. the fact is that life is lifeless if we are in order, in a perfect way, just how we plan it. in fact, life never goes to plan. it's the randomness, or the unpredictability, that sets the inspiration of living. the idea comes from a need of change. a need to sustain. a hunger to survive. it's the incompleteness that completes the life out of us.

8. recently i've been taking a lot of public transports to get to a destination i desire. of course it's a little bit harder. so what if i have two cars. it does not make me look poorer if i take the bus to work. but the journey is well worth it. i have observed all walks of life, learned how to plan my time better and learn to be more patient. and i've also managed to sleep instead rushing to the traffic.

9. through that journey inspires me to write. it helped me a lot in my works. being an engineer does not mean applying equations and best practices. sometimes you're in a technical crapper, where you have to come up or troubleshoot a dead end problem, you have to resort a lot of creative ways to form some sort of idea. it comes from different kinds of angles.

10. from then on i've been burning to write several articles that i've considered a taboo and a subject of controversy. i guess i'm prepared for the consequences then on. but what is life without constroversy ?

transition 809

hello everyone.

it's been quite a while since i've wrote, and i have been to some places when i was away. mostly it's all work, but i gave some time to compile several materials in my mind so i can write in this blog.

i managed to go through again of my past blogs written last year. i must say they must be a roller coaster of emotions that was playing in my head that had drove me to write a lot. and apparently that was my true expression. i did not reserve, or place any censorship because i place a lot in my honesty.

throughout the lies i've gotten and been to, at least there is a plane where i can share my true expression of thought.

2008 for me is such an eventful year. much more than 2007 in overall. i'd guess that's progress. in terms personally i managed to become a bit more confident of myself and a little bit brave in expressing my thoughts, whether for work or something else.

moneywise, well, i guess i'd fare a little bit worse because i've committed several investments where you can just say 'eat more than i chew'. i'm struggling approaching at the end of the year, hopefully i can rebound it by mid of this year. hopefully.

i just guess i'm pretty bad on money.

i've gotten myself a fair amount of trouble last year, and i paid a considerable amount of toll. physically and mentally hurt , but i just have to see this as an opportunity to become stronger in mind. not only that, i would have to more intelligently aware of my actions and know where to channel my energy at the right place and time. learned that from the hard way.

on health, i'd guess i've been in good shape. i've been working out a lot but did less on sports. try to do more sports hopefully by this year.

and, that's all about right now. i don't want to elaborate in much detail because it's not about me. the world does not evolve around me. it's me or i, have to evolve with the world.

i'd guess that in 09 it's more about substance and action, because sitting here, talking about it is not going to do that much. i've observed a lot of blogs saying their miseries in their lives but barely any action that has been done.

expression of thought without action is not enough. it's like you want to have sex but you're not up for it.

what do i expect in 09? well, i don't know. looking around the news it's going to be bad. this is the first time in my working life, facing such economic crisis. i myself am worrying how am i going to cope with it.

you probably have heard by now that we are facing an economic crisis. but what the fuck we care about it ? what does got to do with me ? me , us, just a normal camper got nothing to do with economic crunch. but it does, and it's gonna do really bad.

i'm going to put this crisis in a really simple form.

imagine you have 10 dollars but what it is actually worth is 2 . that means 80 percent of its value are lost. you would have to have 80 dollars so that it'll worth 10 dollars before.

when banks lose their projection, interest rates goes up. buying power goes down. bad debts and loans go up, and banks would stop lending. buying power goes even down. manufacturing goes down. demands to buy go down. things get cheap due to lack of demand, and supply would go down. when supply go down, workers can't work to manufacture supply. they'll get retrenched.
this process will go on like a domino till it gets to me and you.

that's why all shops has super duper crazy sales to an amount you can't believe.

it's like a fucking tsunami.

unlike last year's tsunami, recovery it's just within months. this kind of tsunami, recovery it's within fucking years.

quality of life will deteriorate as compared to previous years. what you enjoy now may not be enjoyed again later this year and onwards. so enjoy as much as you can right now because life it's even more shorter and miserable later.

this has prompted hopefully not only me to live life as much as possible. i am moving from waiting to act , to immediately act. how should i do it is a matter trial and error.

what about you ? how are you going to react ? how are you going to react when you are worth 80% less than you actually are ?

the wrath of god

1. it gutted me to the fullest extent, hearing the landslide tragedy occurred less than 48 hours ago, which happens less than 10 miles from my apartment.

2. it gutted me, that we had a similar tragedy exactly 15 years ago, that we faced exactly the same incident. and it takes 15 bodies or more, and that's just reported, to essentially sacrificed themselves to death , all for nothing.

3. are we stupid, or just plain ignorant. somehow i can conclude that lives are cheap. for a developing country, lives here are cheap. since we can say malaysia is acceptably peaceful, but it's the easiest country to die in.

4. we are not intellectually challenged people as compared in the 70's , 80's . in fact, we are much more complex, educated, and should learn from past tragedies. yet we still allow these tragedies to happen.

5. do we blame god for the landslide ? for the love of god, no . god does not clear trees or put piles for development. god is not a civil engineer. god is too great for that. we, at least for the past hundred years of intellectual evolution, should have understood or at least predict this tragedy at least in the engineering scale.

6. i'm not a geologist, but i can observe by common sense that these can be predicted by simply prevention. i've been to the site (bukit antarabangsa) before, and i can just say it is simply risky. i had a chat with one geologist said to me that ampang hills is the most unstable structure within klang valley. and terrifyingly it's just not only bukit antarabangsa.

7. from an engineering point of view, by geographically bukit antarabangsa is just a part of the hills among the hills that houses the largest water supply in the klang valley, or the langat river. knowing that malaysia is the most wettest country in the world (and it rains almost every day) , that's a lot of liquid to store. generally, it does't just rain and stores to the river like a bath tub, actually it requires a network of hills to catch rainwater so that it will converge to a group of water paths to flow what we essentially know as a river.

8. hills typically need trees to support them structurally and provide flow pathways to allow the catchment waters to flow gravitationally down. owing to the condition whereby trees' roots are naturally branches into large networks, it is naturally the best path providers to these waters to flow.

9. what happens if these trees are idiotically cut down? i'm not a tree hugger but i do know that we should not cut trees without knowing the consequences. if the trees are cut down, these root branches would eventually die, and leaves and branches would not able to absorb the drop intensity of rain to allow it to absorb in the soil more effectively.

10. the porosities and permeabilities of the soil structure would dangerously be blocked. due to the overburden weight of the underlaying soil on top, these soils would compacted to behave as clays. the top soils would absorb a lot of water, while the deeper layers would not. these top soils would be very unstable, as it stores a lot of water, and behave like a really thick mud. you would not realize it because it does not look like mud. in fact it looks exactly the same soil as you would look everyday. with some grass, you would be fooled totally.

11. these mobile wet soil layers would just take only time for it to be physically active. until a certain water saturation, these soil layers would not move. but then, the more frequent the rain pours, the higher the water saturation and higher the chances for these soil layers to move.

12. until come a perfect day, where in fact it doesn't rain that much but it has triggered the 'critical water saturation' soil structure for it to become mobile. when it happens, that's where we know it as a landslide. as you know, it behaves like an avalanche: the movement of the top soil would typically accumulate gravitationally until its energy become large enough be come destructive, destroying everything that comes to its path. that includes expensive bungalow lots.

13. i dare say that the landslides can be prevented way before until it takes body counts to occur. yes, some people or readers would say that why should they care, or why am i so interested in landslides. well, for me it can happen to anyone. what if, somebody you know or care, died instantly during a landslide ? how would you react. the poor departed souls would be fucking pissed if they realized that they died out of somebody's wrong doing.

14. i wish that the departed souls would come back haunt these corrupt officers starting from the jabatan tanah, and all the way up to the politicians. let them haunt their souls and torture them out of their very lives.

hard times to come

1. it is already december 2008. we've got less than a month before a new year steps in. 25 days to be precise, if this post is dated. to some or many, this is a month of reflection. a month of reflection of how are things been done, and what are the outlooks for the next year.

2. it's been a tough year. very colorful inside out, just like the sixties and seventies. all wrapped up within one year. i can safely conclude this is due to the technology we enjoy in, due to infinite access to information into almost immediately, or 'real-time' as somebody else would proclaim it.

3. good things would happen almost immediately. but what about bad ones ? thinking about it, back in the 80's, the crisis took for some years to happen. but look at us now. last few months in july we were totally okay, but less than 3 months we are in the brink of recession.

4. " so what ? who cares ? " , as what normal people would say. normally people don't care if it doesn't affect to their normal daily lives. so who cares if there's corruption, money-swindling, tax manipulation. as long it's not touching my pocket, i do not care. this is a classic third world country thinking and i am not surprised that first world thinking people share the same attribute.

5. so what if banks in the united states are bankrupt ? who the fuck we care ? banks here are stable. we can still shop, get paid monthly, and all sort of things we normally do. but be prepared: things will get rough. being in the oil industry, we are already facing and suffering from this crisis. i even worried if i'm going to get employed, let alone a pay cut. debts are not reduced that much either. it's going to get even worse. i had literally had calls from the ever efficient credit card to remind me to pay up my monthly. see, that's just from my side.

6. i'm predicting life would be tough, testing the human survival to the fullest extent.

7. how would you respond to it ? can you at least financially survive if let's say a 25% pay cut ?
imagine how things we usually enjoy would be essentially be lost , can we respond and adapt to that mentally ?

8. what about others ? have you thought people that has odd-jobs would survive. what they earn RM800 per month to feed their families would be either facing half of their pay, or worse, nothing at all. how are they going to survive to even get a descent meal.

9. the way i see it, if economy is in ruins, poverty will rise and by virtue political instability and crime rates would definitely without doubt will increase exponentially.

10. this is definitely a tough time. this is the only time where talent, the human spirit and humanity must work together to get out of the recession. what has worked before may not work again, hence new methods must be brainstormed and applied before things getting a bitch worse.
11. wage earners in the government or institutions may not feel the pinch, but business people, sales would fucking do.

12. maybe, just maybe with bright minds we can get out of this recession as fast as we got into it in the first place. personally i don't see m'sia is getting out that fast. they are denying rather than working out of solution. it's really disappointing.