the.bloke.inside

it has been that long ?

2009-12-17T23:50:00.000-08:00

it has been forever since my last blog.

to be honest, i don't have the chance. Nor i have the mood of writing it.

this is coupled with nothing interesting to write upon to. has it been a boring year like previous years ? probably not.

i suppose i write because i feel like writing it, and i prefer substance rather than form.

it consistently seemed that it has always been the end of the year i have been given the inspiration to update the blog .. hmm.. maybe it's one of those times where this year is going to an end.

on a personal note , a substantial achievements have been made. life has has not exactly changed, but i'm hoping it's going to be better.

the first lady

2009-04-08T03:06:00.001-07:00

i despise politics , although i follow it.

the political development i must say , it's very demeaning. demeaning can be possibly a derivation of demonizing, which is actually the correct term to describe the current political scenario.

leaders what we have right now, as i put has no character. they are loathed with corruption. they have no intellectuality that we can be proud upon to , instead having political extremism and ignorance much to ppl's disgust.

i love my country, thus, i think i deserve the position to criticize.

this goes to the first lady. possibly in history, this must be the first , first lady that we all love to hate. the little piglet.

i despise what she represents.

she's fat, greedy, and absolutely no love for the people.

i'll bet you share my point of view too.

BTZ (Better to .. )

2009-02-15T08:10:00.001-08:00

1. i've been reluctant to write this article, but then again i'll regret it if i don't. unlike other articles, this is perhaps quite a serious topic. it requires careful articulation, hoping that the reader won't misintepret what i want to channel. then again, it's good to have other sides of opinion. this is, anyway a democratic country. i, in the cyberspace is ready to be flagged should a situation requires. perhaps this is more towards the readers in the local scene, my beloved malaysia.

2. i seek the reader's maturity and discretion to judge this thoughts of mine.

3. i recall reading an article by the youngest mufti elected in the country, which is unfortunately i forgot his name. i shall look it up and quote it later in my blog. in my opinion, i'd guess he's one of the most calibre (and decorated i guess) mufti in the country, which brings the nations' attention to rejuvenate the role of mufti in this country that has been in a terrible state of decline ever.

4. his articles written are thought provoking, to everybody in all walks of life. this is not sanctioned to the muslims, but all non-muslims as well. i can honestly admit am not a pious nor religious (if you had gone over my past blogs), but i fiercely honor my open state of mind.

5. perhaps his last article (or maybe not) reached out to me in totality and i would like to respond to it.

6. his article discussed the issue of people of our generation (20 onwards) moral decay is due to materialistic expectations from the society. fait accompli, he deduced it's better to zina than marry. this one i totally agree 100%.

7. i mean, let's give a neutral thought about it. Within our society , upon finding a job, we would be expected to settle down by 24 to 30 yrs old. Considering the chances or probability, i would say say most end up in marriage by end 20's .

8. things change , technology and economy would advance through time , but the human behavior will stay intact as long we are biologically intact. we all going to the same phase of life, and we would always experience the chance to love another partner. that's life and that's a face everyone would agree.

9. However the changes can be so fast, much to our disadvantage, and led us to adapt or undertake certain measures that i can be considered unconventional.

10. look at one fact. in the urban area, the economic status of a fresh grad, has been very grieving. the oppressing capitalist economy has caused so much disadvantage that it has damaged every single value in our culture. we have commercialized tradition and culture , and one of them is marriage.

11. Once the 'divine' event has been commercialized, it is very difficult for a normal couple to settle down. Consider the fact, for example marriage costs for a single couple at the cheapest rate is RM20K, which roughly USD5K . A normal working person earns hardly RM2K , a fraction of the marriage cost. This puts a normal young couple a very difficult financial position to assume the total costs , and leading them to even take personal loans, notwithstanding loan sharks !

11a. This is also compounded by highly and frustrating paperworks and nonsense requirements from the religious councils, which only causing unnecessary burden to the applicant.

12. Although the facilities provide an easy way out, this puts these young couple's financial position to be significantly constrained. As a result, they'll be poorer, and it'll lead to high potential of marriage problems later on.

13. The folks however is another story. As we are unintentionally economically advanced, there seems little appreciation of moral and generous values. This would only lead to large disparity of income groups, leading to 'socio-economic' discrimination within the society. Instead advancing forward, our appreciation and values would just only decay to the worst.

14. I don't blame unmarried couples living together , heck i embrace it to justify the injustice of the oppression from the society. the authorities just doesn't care.

Some ideas

2009-02-15T07:39:00.000-08:00

1. i would like to apologize to the readers (if there's any) should i have been quite lagging in my updates on my blogs.

2. truth is, i actually have any substance or ideas to write. somehow it requires a situation, or more technically an inspiration to express my thoughts it a more substantial form. i can write all what's happening in my life daily and how terrible it is, but that defeats the purpose why i am blogging in the first place.

3. in another way, i've tried to search for an inspiration, and believe me i have lots of drafts in my posting settings. but screening the substance, well, i'd guess it does not trigger any rather dull subject.

4. this new year so far for me it's difficult, but i'm working my best to achieve outstanding goals i've set last year. they will be some changes, and i'm afraid this year would be a rather significant one. what is it, i don't know.

5. isolating myself and doing things a bit differently gave me a wider perspective of thinking. it doesn't have to be big and creative. just change what i do routinely, and it does gauge a big impact to myself.

6. i'd guess that the major attributes in life. once you're in the comfort zone, you lose the purpose of living. that's the time you'll need to change. not change for the worse, but slightly better. it requires a hell lot of efforts before reaching another comfort zone.

7. the fact is that life is lifeless if we are in order, in a perfect way, just how we plan it. in fact, life never goes to plan. it's the randomness, or the unpredictability, that sets the inspiration of living. the idea comes from a need of change. a need to sustain. a hunger to survive. it's the incompleteness that completes the life out of us.

8. recently i've been taking a lot of public transports to get to a destination i desire. of course it's a little bit harder. so what if i have two cars. it does not make me look poorer if i take the bus to work. but the journey is well worth it. i have observed all walks of life, learned how to plan my time better and learn to be more patient. and i've also managed to sleep instead rushing to the traffic.

9. through that journey inspires me to write. it helped me a lot in my works. being an engineer does not mean applying equations and best practices. sometimes you're in a technical crapper, where you have to come up or troubleshoot a dead end problem, you have to resort a lot of creative ways to form some sort of idea. it comes from different kinds of angles.

10. from then on i've been burning to write several articles that i've considered a taboo and a subject of controversy. i guess i'm prepared for the consequences then on. but what is life without constroversy ?

transition 809

2009-01-07T02:27:00.000-08:00

hello everyone.

it's been quite a while since i've wrote, and i have been to some places when i was away. mostly it's all work, but i gave some time to compile several materials in my mind so i can write in this blog.

i managed to go through again of my past blogs written last year. i must say they must be a roller coaster of emotions that was playing in my head that had drove me to write a lot. and apparently that was my true expression. i did not reserve, or place any censorship because i place a lot in my honesty.

throughout the lies i've gotten and been to, at least there is a plane where i can share my true expression of thought.

2008 for me is such an eventful year. much more than 2007 in overall. i'd guess that's progress. in terms personally i managed to become a bit more confident of myself and a little bit brave in expressing my thoughts, whether for work or something else.

moneywise, well, i guess i'd fare a little bit worse because i've committed several investments where you can just say 'eat more than i chew'. i'm struggling approaching at the end of the year, hopefully i can rebound it by mid of this year. hopefully.

i just guess i'm pretty bad on money.

i've gotten myself a fair amount of trouble last year, and i paid a considerable amount of toll. physically and mentally hurt , but i just have to see this as an opportunity to become stronger in mind. not only that, i would have to more intelligently aware of my actions and know where to channel my energy at the right place and time. learned that from the hard way.

on health, i'd guess i've been in good shape. i've been working out a lot but did less on sports. try to do more sports hopefully by this year.

and, that's all about right now. i don't want to elaborate in much detail because it's not about me. the world does not evolve around me. it's me or i, have to evolve with the world.

i'd guess that in 09 it's more about substance and action, because sitting here, talking about it is not going to do that much. i've observed a lot of blogs saying their miseries in their lives but barely any action that has been done.

expression of thought without action is not enough. it's like you want to have sex but you're not up for it.

what do i expect in 09? well, i don't know. looking around the news it's going to be bad. this is the first time in my working life, facing such economic crisis. i myself am worrying how am i going to cope with it.

you probably have heard by now that we are facing an economic crisis. but what the fuck we care about it ? what does got to do with me ? me , us, just a normal camper got nothing to do with economic crunch. but it does, and it's gonna do really bad.

i'm going to put this crisis in a really simple form.

imagine you have 10 dollars but what it is actually worth is 2 . that means 80 percent of its value are lost. you would have to have 80 dollars so that it'll worth 10 dollars before.

when banks lose their projection, interest rates goes up. buying power goes down. bad debts and loans go up, and banks would stop lending. buying power goes even down. manufacturing goes down. demands to buy go down. things get cheap due to lack of demand, and supply would go down. when supply go down, workers can't work to manufacture supply. they'll get retrenched.
this process will go on like a domino till it gets to me and you.

that's why all shops has super duper crazy sales to an amount you can't believe.

it's like a fucking tsunami.

unlike last year's tsunami, recovery it's just within months. this kind of tsunami, recovery it's within fucking years.

quality of life will deteriorate as compared to previous years. what you enjoy now may not be enjoyed again later this year and onwards. so enjoy as much as you can right now because life it's even more shorter and miserable later.

this has prompted hopefully not only me to live life as much as possible. i am moving from waiting to act , to immediately act. how should i do it is a matter trial and error.

what about you ? how are you going to react ? how are you going to react when you are worth 80% less than you actually are ?

the wrath of god

2008-12-07T01:15:00.000-08:00

1. it gutted me to the fullest extent, hearing the landslide tragedy occurred less than 48 hours ago, which happens less than 10 miles from my apartment.

2. it gutted me, that we had a similar tragedy exactly 15 years ago, that we faced exactly the same incident. and it takes 15 bodies or more, and that's just reported, to essentially sacrificed themselves to death , all for nothing.

3. are we stupid, or just plain ignorant. somehow i can conclude that lives are cheap. for a developing country, lives here are cheap. since we can say malaysia is acceptably peaceful, but it's the easiest country to die in.

4. we are not intellectually challenged people as compared in the 70's , 80's . in fact, we are much more complex, educated, and should learn from past tragedies. yet we still allow these tragedies to happen.

5. do we blame god for the landslide ? for the love of god, no . god does not clear trees or put piles for development. god is not a civil engineer. god is too great for that. we, at least for the past hundred years of intellectual evolution, should have understood or at least predict this tragedy at least in the engineering scale.

6. i'm not a geologist, but i can observe by common sense that these can be predicted by simply prevention. i've been to the site (bukit antarabangsa) before, and i can just say it is simply risky. i had a chat with one geologist said to me that ampang hills is the most unstable structure within klang valley. and terrifyingly it's just not only bukit antarabangsa.

7. from an engineering point of view, by geographically bukit antarabangsa is just a part of the hills among the hills that houses the largest water supply in the klang valley, or the langat river. knowing that malaysia is the most wettest country in the world (and it rains almost every day) , that's a lot of liquid to store. generally, it does't just rain and stores to the river like a bath tub, actually it requires a network of hills to catch rainwater so that it will converge to a group of water paths to flow what we essentially know as a river.

8. hills typically need trees to support them structurally and provide flow pathways to allow the catchment waters to flow gravitationally down. owing to the condition whereby trees' roots are naturally branches into large networks, it is naturally the best path providers to these waters to flow.

9. what happens if these trees are idiotically cut down? i'm not a tree hugger but i do know that we should not cut trees without knowing the consequences. if the trees are cut down, these root branches would eventually die, and leaves and branches would not able to absorb the drop intensity of rain to allow it to absorb in the soil more effectively.

10. the porosities and permeabilities of the soil structure would dangerously be blocked. due to the overburden weight of the underlaying soil on top, these soils would compacted to behave as clays. the top soils would absorb a lot of water, while the deeper layers would not. these top soils would be very unstable, as it stores a lot of water, and behave like a really thick mud. you would not realize it because it does not look like mud. in fact it looks exactly the same soil as you would look everyday. with some grass, you would be fooled totally.

11. these mobile wet soil layers would just take only time for it to be physically active. until a certain water saturation, these soil layers would not move. but then, the more frequent the rain pours, the higher the water saturation and higher the chances for these soil layers to move.

12. until come a perfect day, where in fact it doesn't rain that much but it has triggered the 'critical water saturation' soil structure for it to become mobile. when it happens, that's where we know it as a landslide. as you know, it behaves like an avalanche: the movement of the top soil would typically accumulate gravitationally until its energy become large enough be come destructive, destroying everything that comes to its path. that includes expensive bungalow lots.

13. i dare say that the landslides can be prevented way before until it takes body counts to occur. yes, some people or readers would say that why should they care, or why am i so interested in landslides. well, for me it can happen to anyone. what if, somebody you know or care, died instantly during a landslide ? how would you react. the poor departed souls would be fucking pissed if they realized that they died out of somebody's wrong doing.

14. i wish that the departed souls would come back haunt these corrupt officers starting from the jabatan tanah, and all the way up to the politicians. let them haunt their souls and torture them out of their very lives.

hard times to come

2008-12-05T01:59:00.000-08:00

1. it is already december 2008. we've got less than a month before a new year steps in. 25 days to be precise, if this post is dated. to some or many, this is a month of reflection. a month of reflection of how are things been done, and what are the outlooks for the next year.

2. it's been a tough year. very colorful inside out, just like the sixties and seventies. all wrapped up within one year. i can safely conclude this is due to the technology we enjoy in, due to infinite access to information into almost immediately, or 'real-time' as somebody else would proclaim it.

3. good things would happen almost immediately. but what about bad ones ? thinking about it, back in the 80's, the crisis took for some years to happen. but look at us now. last few months in july we were totally okay, but less than 3 months we are in the brink of recession.

4. " so what ? who cares ? " , as what normal people would say. normally people don't care if it doesn't affect to their normal daily lives. so who cares if there's corruption, money-swindling, tax manipulation. as long it's not touching my pocket, i do not care. this is a classic third world country thinking and i am not surprised that first world thinking people share the same attribute.

5. so what if banks in the united states are bankrupt ? who the fuck we care ? banks here are stable. we can still shop, get paid monthly, and all sort of things we normally do. but be prepared: things will get rough. being in the oil industry, we are already facing and suffering from this crisis. i even worried if i'm going to get employed, let alone a pay cut. debts are not reduced that much either. it's going to get even worse. i had literally had calls from the ever efficient credit card to remind me to pay up my monthly. see, that's just from my side.

6. i'm predicting life would be tough, testing the human survival to the fullest extent.

7. how would you respond to it ? can you at least financially survive if let's say a 25% pay cut ?
imagine how things we usually enjoy would be essentially be lost , can we respond and adapt to that mentally ?

8. what about others ? have you thought people that has odd-jobs would survive. what they earn RM800 per month to feed their families would be either facing half of their pay, or worse, nothing at all. how are they going to survive to even get a descent meal.

9. the way i see it, if economy is in ruins, poverty will rise and by virtue political instability and crime rates would definitely without doubt will increase exponentially.

10. this is definitely a tough time. this is the only time where talent, the human spirit and humanity must work together to get out of the recession. what has worked before may not work again, hence new methods must be brainstormed and applied before things getting a bitch worse.
11. wage earners in the government or institutions may not feel the pinch, but business people, sales would fucking do.

12. maybe, just maybe with bright minds we can get out of this recession as fast as we got into it in the first place. personally i don't see m'sia is getting out that fast. they are denying rather than working out of solution. it's really disappointing.

the next renaissance

2008-11-27T01:02:00.000-08:00

1. politics is dirty. it's definitely true what they say, and yet we still follow it. i still follow it. no matter how dirty, how stupid and idiotic it can be, we still follow it. the difference is that is how much we interpret with the current situation, and as we all know, interpretations change with time, and the person itself.

2. why do we still follow it ? face it, if an announcement made in a speaker hall, what fuck does it has got to do with our lives ? nothing. but we still follow it. i still follow it. i follow because i love my country. nothing patriotic, but i just believe without it, we would be homeless. i won't have anywhere else to go that is considered home. so that is why i follow current political scene.

3. it is without doubt, and with absolute certainty that the current political scene is really, really rubbish. if someone has the ample time to compile every event, it would made a good CSI story. malaysian style. you basically have everything - murder, sex, alcohol, crime, and even, fatwa. you can even compile in a story book and it'll definitely sell in large volumes. so, if you want to become a millionaire, compile every event in malaysian political scene, add a bit of juice, and write in a book. your book would definitely be a sellout , and you'll become the next jk rowling, malaysian version. be inspired .

4. 2008 as i evaluate it, is phenomenal. this is a phenomenal year. so many things occur this year, and i'm definitely certain that things would never be the same again. i had to admit that, since the general election earlier this year, i believe our generation onwards are re-writing the history. next few years is going to be an exciting year. who knows- the recession we face, my observe the next renaissance. with obama as the first black president- the possibility is definitely, endless.

5. but what is definitely certain that we are becoming more aware of what's happening in the world, at least in the daily basis. the recession for example, made most of us to check out the latest developments in the business scene- whether for bad , or for worse.

6. the mass media- at least in the local scene has not be the only source of information we use. because not all stories are true. when the government owns the information, they can bend as they like. the advantage we have now is that we know how to judge a reported information- who's reporting rubbish, and who's not . the evolution of human judgment that the ruling government have overseen - at least in the local scene.

7. alas, at the darkest times lies the light- or the light of hope that comes out of unpredictable. the human spirit of hope seems to be the ultimate weakness or the greatest strength. history- even by religion has proved at the darkest era- comes alive a 'savior' that serves as an inspiration of change. it is not difficult to name some- jesus, muhammad, corpenicus, even newton. these individuals existed in the most darkest era - and yet their existence is so important we are not what we are today without their contribution.

8. so what does it has to do with the situation now ? well, i strongly believe that by history, we should know better how to respond to a crisis- but this is otherwise. i can say that rather ruled by wisdom and experience, we are in the world ruled by just two elements : fear and greed.

9. it is way too hopeless now - it's up to us how we want to shape the future we want. i don't want to waste all day poking people in facebook - we have to channel this useless habit to something useful - anything - as long than wasting time sitting that fat ass in front of the pc and go out there and do something , anything ..

10. the next renaissance- may observe the revolution rather than evolution based what we observed today - whether we like it or not. it truly depends on how we respond to it - for better or for worse. for what my humble judgment - i'd see a revolution - but whether for good or for worse lies within not with their talent - but with their humanity principles that serves as a guidance.

between mere coincidence or tell tale sign

2008-11-17T02:49:00.000-08:00

1. my previous post elaborated on death. 2008 i would say it's a sad year. lot's of ppl i know have died. what's more saddening is that they died not on natural causes, mostly on accidents. by statistics, a total more than 10 ppl i've known have died, 100% due to road accidents.

2. malaysia has probably the highest rate of accidents in the world, if not in southeast asia. it's one of the countries in the world that you can die easily on the road. so, if you feeling suicidal and a life to spare, pls do come to malaysia and there's a definite chance of getting yourself killed on the road. i would prefer for you to come during the festive holidays. every day there's literally 20 people died on the road. and that's just on formal reports, not including the ones that are not reported.

3. u know, it's scares the fuck out of me thinking of this. it's like watching final destination, but it's fucking real. there are no tell tale signs, just instant death. it'll be so fast that you don't realize you're dead. your soul would be squandering in a dimensionless time.

4. all the telltales signs were there. imagine, last couple of weeks i was literally had a graveyard view for a week, witnessed a funeral took place, and all of a sudden 2 friends which i've known died of a car accident. i was, and still am, very sad. i've just met them on the previous week, and definitely they were very much alive.

5. this was coupled my sudden interest watching constantine. the movie is all about death, satanism, exorcism, religion and so on. what kind of messages am i getting ? it's all coming at once. i just could not figure it out. plus, i was diagnosed potential bronchitis. the world just came crashing in.

6. all of these i realized that, when things go wrong, they go really, really wrong. you just can't explain it with a sound, logical mind. these things are not to be figured out. they are just what they are. forget and get on with it. you can't do much for the dead, for they are dead forever. what can be offered is just prayers and hope. hope. the quintessential attribute of the human spirit that could lead either humanity's weakest weakness or the most powerful weapon.

7. i would simply conclude that don't take telltale signs for grated. i'll guarantee that each of us has experienced deja vu, or simply a prognosis to hint you things to come. They'll come in an assortments of medium ; either in your dreams, or even events that happen closest to you. what matters most is how much you take these telltales , or just mere, coincidence. Fuck coincidence, i just don't believe it even in the most sceptic of mind.

8. anyhow, all my prayers are sent for the departed souls. may they rest in peace. amin. i would guess were are just mere living destined to be dead, waiting our bodies to decompose in heaps of underlaying soils. perhaps what really matters is what have you really accomplish when you're alive. and when you're approaching death, that's where you feel most alive.

cheers

peaceful thots

2008-11-12T08:41:00.000-08:00

1. Lately I attended this technical course. It was like any other usual training. But I'm not going to talk about the training. It's about the venue where I attended it. It was unusual, but in some odd way inspiring.

2. All the hotels i've been through nationwide are basically, dull and the same. From there you would able to grasp, and interpret their management style. I've been staying couple of hotels and this one is definitely different. Their management is unique. Then again, I'm not going to talk about hotel management. You have management books all over the world to describe in detail.

3. All these while, people, or what the business world termed it, customers would rate ambiance and location as their primary rating. In this hotel, it's different. My view is not facing the city center, or boring building, or fucked up traffic.

4. No, my view it's actually facing a graveyard. A Muslim graveyard.

5. Initially, it was scary at first. Face it, in front of you, you have several slides you have to go through and just next to it it's a fucking graveyard. I mean, what was on the architect's god damn mind when they were designing a view. Plus, this is a ballroom. You don't exactly score many rating points when you have a ballroom facing the graveyard.

6. But somehow or rather, eventually in time, I began to accept the view. It was not bad at all, but it was peaceful. The dead looks so calm, so quiet, covered with large trees. There was no chaos. What was initially scary now looks very peaceful. I managed to have the opportunity to observe a death burial takes place. Imagine, that was the only time you are a bit closer to god. Watching the body buried somehow put me in humility that we are just an organic matter. Seems that what only matters are the things you have done for the living.

7. It is interesting to note that the hotel acquired the 5 star rating and it has won the best architectural design.

8. So, if it's peace you're looking for, a visit to the grave could be a potential candidate, if not so at least. It's fucking scary, but, stay there long enough, the dead silence is very convincing. I would definitely come to the same place later, hoping for the same view.

Figure : I'm not bullshiting

cheers

fuck being complete

2008-11-12T06:33:00.000-08:00

1. I'd say, fuck being complete. Why do we have to be complete. Why do we do what we do in the first place. Is it fucking reasonable to do so. Yeah, maybe money or material, but does that complete yourself ?

2. I've been thinking, why do we have to work hard and save money ? To save up to for a respectable wardrobe ? I've been doing all these while, and I did have a respectable wardrobe. CK shirts, armani exchange jeans, and I realized what fuck have I been doing all these while. Why do I need all these ? I had full 3 weeks of wardrobe filled with Zara, but what in hell do I need them for? Who am going to impress ?

3. I guess that all these while I've been misled of how I lead myself. But then again, I have no regrets. In fact, it's good I've done all these while to get where am I right now. I would have correlated that we all had to learn the hard way. People naturally learn the hard way. It's generally hard to change an attitude. God sent 22 or maybe 23 , oh I don't know, prophets to set people's fucking attitude straight. That's how difficult changing attitudes are.

4. Maybe, just maybe it's just worth if the purpose is worth doing fuckingfor. I had seen people working their fucking ass off to achieve their life dreams, not just work dreams. I had a friend selling insurance for a living. It was and still is not a pretty sight working in sales. Facing all kinds of fucked up people from all fucking walks of life is not a encouraging attributes in selling. But it works somehow. He had made it, went out from a fucking dead-end telemarketer and became a fucking made guy now. He's cool. I can still recall, during the early days he was quite having a fucked up time to make his targets. I'd loan him some dough to make ends meet. But it was quite an investment.

5. I would have to say that it is hunger that makes you so alive. It's like having not to fuck for a month, looking for a right opportunity to fuck a girl's brain off. It's the journey, not the destination that matters. It's when we are incomplete, is where we are most alive in our life. It I were just escaped a death incident, the next day my breakfast will be the best breakfast ever in my life.

6. So stop saving for your IKEA ideal living room, or bedroom or any fucking lampshade. I'd do something else to make yourself even my hungrier than before. I don't know what it is, but invest something that it will be worth fucking for, at least for a lifetime.

7. So what am I looking for? Distinguished RE ? Well, maybe . But i'm still looking. But perhaps it would need some inspiration to seek it. Rather than just fucking stall in front of the pc, i'd find inspiration elsewhere, banging a chick would inspire me something. Who knows.

the best kfc i ever had

2008-11-06T02:52:00.000-08:00

1. I like to eat chicken. Eating itself alone is considered a full meal for me. Chicken is considered a natural favorite meal for anyone. Having a meal without chicken is like having a girlfriend but you can't have sex with. That's how it is so integral to have a meal with a chicken.

2. I'm not going to talk about chicken. Basically you would pretty much know how it look and taste like, and should I elaborate this subject much further it would be very daunting. But I'd like to share my experience with this particular kind of chicken I had, and all I can say it is one of the most memorable experience I had until now. All I can say is, if have your chicken meal, try having it in a KFC. You could be the lucky one to enjoy a memorable experience. Ol' Colonel Sanders secret recipe is definitely worth its secret.

3. About a million years ago, I was directed to work in a gas firm at the eastern side of the country. It was my first time there, as I was living in the city all these while. I was quite excited about the rave reviews given from my friends, saying it's definitely different there. And so, excited I was, I began my working journey with filling with curiosity, and anxious at the same time.

4. After couple of days there, I can say it's not that bad. In fact it's pretty interesting. It's the only city in the country where it's located right next to the beach and some happening clubs nearby. No, it's not Penang, and it was not definitely JB.

5. There's not a lot of hustle and bustle, and the pace of the city is much slower compared to KL, in which it comes to my favor once in a while. I guess after spending a week I would have covered every single inch of the city. No problem.

6. The nightlife is not bad at all. During that time the clubs were kind of hot. A bit crude and ghotic, but the dj spinned several good hip hop and rnb songs. The crowd were hot and there were a healthy mix of races. Not forgetting hot chicks as well. I have a long story on that . But that's another chapter. The only letdown of the nightlife was they had a very deceiving name. "Boom boom" was not actually the kind of a nightclub name that would give in the mood. It sounds like shagging with a broom.

7. After settling down for couple of weeks, I have made myself comfortable living there. Initially I hang out alone, but then I managed to made couple of friends from all walks of life. And I really do mean all walks of life. There's even surfers, taxi cab drivers, mat rempit, you name it. It was really a pleasant experience. Sometimes during weekdays after work I hang out at the beach, smoking some cigarettes and weed. Yeah, it was a safe time to smoke the finest skunk publicly during that time. Booze was cheap too. A Jack Daniel's whiskey costs a mere RM120. No problem. At nights I would usually rempit around with my car and later hang at the clubs to get some chicks and get wasted till the early morning. What a life back then.

8. The girls there, I tell you again, are the most friendliest bunch. You can even say hi to then randomly and in exchange they'll greet including their numbers. What a total convenience. Probably it's because there were so many colleges nearby and that could only mean hot college chicks. Chances to get friendly and of course real friendly with them are very encouraging.

11. But at this one day, this one day was quite special. I was just completed my game at the beach and headed to the washroom so that I can chill out at the malls. After getting myself done, I had this sudden desire to have chicken for dinner. First thing that came out of my mind was kfc. And so, I headed to my satria and drove off nearby at the mall. It was probably the best chicken I had.

12. I was just about to enter the shop, and I could not help noticing this pretty creature just loafing outside the mall. She was probably waiting for her cab to go home I would guess. She was alone, definitely. I was pretty sure because I think I had lapped the mall couple of times to search for a car park. And, as normal guy, I would just watch her. She was quite attractive. She's got this naturally permed hair and I just couldn't help watching her. I'm sure she's a mix between a Malay and Chinese, which a descent combination. Not too tall, but not too short. She was hot in her Guess jeans and sexy MnG baby tees.

13. I noticed that she noticed me watching her all the time. Initially I was kind of shy to say her hello, but what the fuck, the worst thing is that she'll just tell you fuck off, that's all. I stopped the car, went out with my cigarette and approached her. I just asked her name. She replied and asked me what am I doing here. Suddenly I had this huge confidence rush in me to get her.

14. And so, I just suddenly said that I want her around, have a good time, and send her back. Getting her to bed was not actually my intention, because I just got to know her. But what hell. She was really hot. She has the sweetest boobies that tastes like a cheese tart and her ass was round as teacup. I guessed that she noticed what I was looking at and she just subtly smiled. Anyhow, she didn't mind me ferrying her around. She was quite bored walking the mall with her friends and decided head back her apartment.

15. I found out that she was studying at a college nearby, and she had to go back quite early. I didn't mind. I just asked her if she wants to have a short dinner with me and send her back, and she said it was okay. I bought her a simple meal which in total costs less than rm10.

16. It was around 9pm, and after we had our dinner, she told me that she had to crash with me because the hostel gates closed at 8. I asked her why she did not informed me earlier, and she just said she forgot. All I can interpret that this was really good nice news for me. It was really flattering.

17. The night was really welcoming. We went to catch a movie, and after that head to the beach to lepak. We talked all the way, and it was not like any other boring one night stand boring talks. It was very pleasant. She's quite intelligent, and most important of all, in control with herself. Not serabut at all.

18. Just couple of hours, we were already as a couple and it was a very good night for and her. Near midnight, I asked her if she wanna club and get wasted, and much to my delight, she said okay. So we headed boom boom to party. The dj was great that night. Much of the songs spun was ashanti, chingy and 50 cent. Not bad at all. I opened a chivas bottle just to put the icing on the cake.

19. Couple of hours fronting with her, and a bit tipsy, we were already hot. She was a bit drunk but I was no less different. I wanted to bring her back to my place, but I decided to chill nearby as there were coppers around. We had to play safe, so went to the beach instead. Maybe after the coppers were done I can check in to a hotel.

20. We parked at the beachside, at this parking lot. It was a bit dark, but bright enough to be safe. I didn't care neither does she, as she was all over me and vice versa. Her cupcakes were fantastic, and we just get on with it at the backseat. I didn't realized how much space I can utilize back there. It was just mindblowing.

21. She gave the best bj in the world with the braces on.

22. To put things short, we fucked all the way until the morning comes. We were quite exhausted and slept until noon. At the beachside.

23. That was perhaps, the best kfc I ever had.

cock talk

2008-11-04T20:47:00.000-08:00

1. I don't read the newspapers. This is not because the articles were not interesting, but then somehow I realized that the reports were horrendously, biased. It is almost always the nature, if the government owns the information, they can bend it as they want.

2. It is quite obvious the existence of the internet has reshaped the face of politics worldwide, if not locally. I just got the latest news from web saying that Barrack Obama won the presidential race, making him the first black American to become president. This must be a huge, huge breakthrough. Congratulations to Obama and hopefully the 'change that I can believe in' slogan would be realized.

3. Guys like McCain, I would perceive, would belong like yesteryears. If and only if he campaigned during the early or late 90's, he would definitely become president. If I were to compare McCain with any local politician, it would be Ku Li.

4. You can basically get everything from the internet. I don't care if I don't have the telly, in fact it's been broken for quite some time. My cable bills I think has been outstanding for nearly year. As long the internet is on, I'll be happy as a cat.

5. I've been using the net to get a wider horizon of the news, and compare with the local media. The reporting I've observed are so twisted, you just don't know which is true and which is not. But I would have guessed the readers, or the people has become increasingly conscious (or less interested) of what they read. They can basically distinguish of what is legit , or big time bullshit.

6. After for quite some time here's what I can summarize about the local newspapers:

Utusan : A really, really racist newspaper. The biggest ass kisser of the ruling political party, in which I don't want to reveal whom. I don't even read it, let alone buy it.

Berita Harian : Similar as Utusan. Except it is known as the 'house nigger' from the ruling political party, in which again, I don't want to reveal whom. Their level of bullshitting has taken it to a new level of heights.

Star: Doesn't report the actual news. I usually read it when I am looking for a car or a house. Then again I would just use the net and save my hard earned RM1.20 .

NST: So far the 'least' bullshit newspaper that is controlled by the gov't. The arch enemy of Utusan. I just don't know why. Reports good football news and cars anyway.

a case of being selfish

2008-11-03T16:23:00.000-08:00

1. A while ago when I was a student I had this experience that has brought me a bit down to earth. Sometimes when we are too comfortable about the things we enjoy we tend to forget the suffering of the others. My life was not easy, yet I have almost always believed that there's always somebody else had it worst, or better.

2. Back then the financial reserves was not too dramatic and I had to be prudent in order to survive for the next scholarship allowance to arrive. Nevertheless, I was able to stretch the ringgit for some luxuries that I find myself worth indulging. Apart from that, I was able to take some part time jobs and attended market surveys.

3. Market surveys was an interesting experience. I'll bet most of college/university students, namely in the cities had this opportunity to attend one. It was an excellent, and easiest way to make a buck within the shortest amount of time, instead of prostitution. Nevertheless, one of the prerequisites was that you have to be an elaborate actor and know how to talk persuasively. The amount of dough given was very handsome, ranging from RM50- RM200 per survey. For a student back then, this was enough to get decently wasted in a pool of liquor.

4. Usually the market surveys I've attended was very broad, and it can include anything. The prime objective of these surveys was to acquire the feedback, comments, and constructive criticisms for a given product. I've even attended this survey that involves a floor detergent product in which I never even mopped before. Perhaps the best survey I've attended was beer and whiskey testing whereby it pays highest , and getting wasted at the most economical way.

5. Also, I had the chance to meet people from all walks of life. Discussion with them somehow expands your thinking horizon, but most importantly it showed that the world doesn't revolve around myself all the time.

6. There's this one particular survey I've attended that I'd like to share. The 'commission' upon completion of survey was a handsome RM100. Not bad, it's one of the highest payouts. I was thinking to spend it on a nasty massage in town. It's been couple of months since I had a nice soothing and nasty massage from the thai parlors there. Excited, I was more than prepared to undertake this survey with full confidence and success.

7. The product was nothing difficult, it's just a beat-up cigarettes with a new so-called flavor. I knew this ciggie because it tasted really awful. It was so awful to the extent that you might do yourself better burning a paper and try to smoke it from there. For the pursuit of the money, I had to adjust the following ordeal so that the massage will worth the effort.

8. And so I was at the discussion room, waiting for the corum to be filled. The participants there were diverse, even a express bus driver. I knew it was a bus driver because I recognized the uniform, and I took the bus regularly on my way back to college. But there was this particular fella that caught my attention. He looked very focused. By the look of his age I'd guess he's around late 20's with a family. He's definitely a working paycheck person because he was wearing a plain green shirt with black trouser that has been bought in tesco. While waiting for the coordinator to arrive, I decided to have a small chat with him.

9. Apparently my prognosis was right. He's 29, working in a bank as a clerk. I asked him whether it was his first time in this survey, and he replied , 'yes'. He was looking forward for couple of months, hoping for the pay out to happen. I asked him again what was his intention if you had the money. Instead, he asked me first. I just said to him I'm going to have this nasty massage at a hotel nearby. We just both laughed .

"Actually I really need the money for my wife and kids" he added on.

I replied and asked, "Well, don't you think your pay is good enough to sponsor all the needs ? "

"Hell, no. How much do you think a clerk earns in a bank? "

"Well, I don't know, RM2000 at least ?"

"I'd sell my soul to the devil with that pay, if offered. Right now I'm only worth RM fucking 800 a month"

"What the hell ? RM800 ? My scholarship is higher than that,"

"You see, that's Malaysia and the labor scene. We the frontline people, are almost always treated this way. Wait till you finished your studies and welcome to my world"

"So how you make ends meet ? "

"I'm struggling. Currently I owe lots of debts, my outstanding for my credit card alone is RM50k. I've married for 5 years and still my marriage debt has not been settled."

"How many kids you have ? "

"I had four. I lived in a flat in Rawang and usually I ride the motorbike here".

"Oh hell, that's more than 50 km away and, you're doing this form RM100 ? "

"Dude, RM100 is lot more for me, I'm desperate need for money, wife and kids has not been feeding with noodles for the past week. I want to take them out for a chicken rice meal"

10. That was perhaps the most remembered conversation in which has caused me crashed down to my knees. There I was, using the dough for a sex fee and this guy needs it to feed their family food. I was quite heavy hearted throughout the survey session .

11. At the end of the survey, I just give my RM50 portion to him. Initially he refused, because he did not ask for pity. I insisted saying that I felt like giving.

12. How selfish and self centered we can be. I hope I'll never fall to that category. It's saddening to hear how people struggled in the city. While the employers enjoy big hefty profits, they would not give a fuck to these hard earned working people.

13. Anyway, I've thought of canceling the massage because of my guilt. But I went it anyway because I just cannot tahan. So much for my guilty conscious.

drunk jokes

2008-10-31T05:50:00.000-07:00

What's the difference driving in Malaysia and a newly wed couple ?

When driving, you try your best to avoid holes at the road.

But for a newly wed couple, you tend to aim them. You won't miss it !

hahaha... i just couldn't help laughing about it.

cheers

happy halloween

2008-10-31T05:31:00.001-07:00

1. Malaysia doesn't celebrate halloween. It's kind of sad because that's the time you can 'trick or treat' and dress up as ghosts or vampires. Some more, this country has a database of ghosts that can rival any other country in the world, even Transylvania. FYI, the ghost or hantu database is so complete there's even a hantu stokin , or socks ghost. There's even hantu susu (milking ghost) and even hantu pocong ( i don't know how to translate it, but I wouldn't mess with them). I encountered a literature that has procured more than 300 types of ghosts in Malaysia.

2. Anyway, happy halloween. If you're going to a halloween party, I can suggest several ghastly idols that you can wear. Here is some of my suggestions:

a. Hedge Fund - a real scare if you go to a party filled with people working in banks
b. Credit card - enough to scare the living daylights of anybody.
c. Khairy Jamaludin - i dare you to wear this idol. it's so scary they'll even throw bricks at you, including me. I just hate him so much, the greedy, racist, politician. Fucking bitch wants to be the prime minister by 40. Got to cheek to be PM. Kiss my ass.

Enjoy yourself and cheers..

serabut

2008-10-31T04:21:00.000-07:00

1. Serabut in English means disorganized. Usually in Malay it is used as an adjective, used to describe a person. A person with an unsystematic life can be described as serabut. Phrases such as, "You are so serabut, you know that" can barely a appropriate way to ditch a person. For me, I'd try to stay away from these people. I learned that from a hard way.

2. I was once acquainted with this chick quite some years ago, when I was just completed my studies. Fresh from college, I was full of energy that was always utilized for partying and drinking. There goes my contribution for society.

3. Back to the chick, I met her at a club (where else) where I was partying with my college mates some place in KL. She was with her friends and they sat next to my table. As a gentlemen, I offered them couple of drinks and they accepted it. They were quite loud, screaming and standing on their chairs. Not bad.

4. At the end of the session, we all exchanged our numbers in case we want to keep in touch. After some while, this particular chick text me asking me out. I knew this girl, she not exactly Jennifer Lopez but I guess it's allright. I'd guess it's okay to hang out with her. No harm done.

5. She drives a small compact car that describes her personality. So usually when we hang out I drive her along. We dated for a while.

6. It doesn't take long to discover her disparities. She's completely disorganized. I'd guess she changed jobs almost on a weekly basis, blaming management at fault except for her. I'd tried to empathize (and symphatize), but after losing jobs consistently for 7 times I think I have the liberty of making a conclusion. There's even one day she'd forgot where she works.

7. Another that was unattractive was that she absolutely idolizes her friends in absolute. From my observation, there's nothing outstanding about them. In fact they share the same characteristics inside out. They must had some sort of a union for serabut individuals like her, ie. Persatuan Serabut Semenanjung. Imagine one night, I had to drive more than 50 miles to pick up a friend just for a miserable drink and then send her back. In 3 in the morning, during working days. It was just too much. You'd normally do that in an occasion of death of a relative. I mean, which geography school of idiots she graduated from ? Then again I tend to be a bit passive and let her way through.

8. And not forgetting, she smokes like a fucking chimney. 5 packs per day, at minimum. Whenever I kissed her as though I was kissing a dude or an ashtray. I did not enjoy that entirely. Even though I advised her to control the addiction, she'd just doesn't care. So much for a free health advise.

9. Hygiene ? With that kind of personality, I'd prefer not to elaborate more. But in short, I was quite terrified to discover hairs in the most unwanted places. Especially during making out. I was barely keeping it hard throughout the whole time. Forget advising because with that kind of response I'll be expecting, I'd rather save my energy to be patient.

10. The one that snapped me out was she was a K and E junkie. Imagine 80% of the paycheck is invested to those skunks. Which school of finance she studied from, god knows. Every time she got stoned, her eyes looks as they they're going to pop out and she looked absolutely terrible. I'd rather date a makcik cleaner be her boyfriend. That's it, I'm bailing out. 5 months and I just couldn't take it anymore. For me, alcohol, women, weed, OK. But not drugs. Don't do drugs. Drugs are bad for you.

11. It was quite different when I broke up. She just laughed and say good riddance. I'd guess she just took a skunk prior of meeting me. I'd guess that helped to ease her pain. She is just so serabut, god bless her for that. I celebrated by having a tower beer in a kedai cina.

12. Don't date a serabut. It's just going to make your life more serabut that it already is.

cheers and have a nice weekend..

my name is pratab

2008-10-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

1. Hello, my name is Pratab. I'm a good friend of the author in this blog. He seems quite a nice guy. I suppose I had to thank him for giving this opportunity to share my stories in his blog.

2. To tell you the truth, I was quite reluctant to share my stories. This is because I'm quite shy. But he has been encouraging me to share my talents so that it could inspire people. I guess I'm quite flattered by his invitation. He told me I have very nice stories to tell, and admittedly I do have some.

3. Some people told me I live up to my name. I don't know why, maybe it has got to do something with a story in which I'll share shortly.

4. Some time ago, I met this girl in a club that I've always go to. This is the club to check out hot chicks. The live band played great music, and the DJ i suppose it's okay. It's always full and packed, especially during pay days and weekends. Fridays and Saturdays are definitely the best time to come. When the DJ spin their songs, the ladies come up to the dancefloor and shaking their ass in the most fashionable movement.

5. I can say I was quite lucky because every time I hit the dancefloor, chicks were always around me and I'll be fronting them all the time. There's one occasion where this chick cheekily slip up her hands into my pants. What a welcoming gesture. I couldn't ask for more even though I should.

6. Coming back to this girl I referred to earlier, she was different. She doesn't dance that much, only when her favorite tune is up. She looks fantastic, especially with purple tube and ass fitting jeans. She has the nicest ass, as round as a teacup. I wanted to say hye to her but as I'm a very shy person, I had to withdraw the intent.

7. Luckily my paycheck is today. I opened a Chivas bottle to get started. Couple of shots and I'm already loose. I gained some confidence. Then I approached her.

8. Strangely, she approached me. She was fidgeting. I think she was drunk. She asked me whether she can join for a drink and dance with her. How lucky can I get. It's like orang mengantuk disorongkan bantal. At that time it was only 215 am and I got the whole time with her.

9. Even though she's drunk and fidgeting, she doesn't look that bitchy, or cheap. She was very in control of herself, she spoke excellent English, and very cultured. She was not definitely the kind of rempit chick you met in a cheap disco. I'd guess she must be educated. Educated chicks are hot, especially when they're loose. I have the hots for them.

10. Eventually we drank and danced. She knows her moves and know how to groove with the music. Our chemistry was excellent, and we danced it's as though nothing cared. Stopped checking out other chicks and all I can focus to was her. Time passed really fast.

11. We got really hot, and I'd guess she felt the same way too. I asked her if she's going anywhere after this, but then she replied that she had to sent her friends home. I was quite disappointed in a some way, but that was okay. Nevertheless I gave my cell number in case she wanted to call me.

12. I was quite tipsy, but I was in control. The clubs were about to close and I managed to finish up my bottle. I decided to head back home but before that, I want to have a short coffee with my mates.

13. Suddenly, as I was approaching my car, she was there. I hardly believed that she parked next to me. She opened her window, and asked me if I wanted to have some coffee with her. She somehow canceled sending her friends back as they had other plans. So I decided to ride with her , obviously. Furthermore, she drives a nice car. A myvi. What a practical car.

14. I offered her to drive her back and she agreed. Upon our way back, we were already kissing all over in her cute myvi and we just had to finish it. The automatic transmission really helped because I can concentrate my hands to somewhere else. This is a really practical car.

15. She asked me if there's any place to crash. I replied that I may be have one, but she just had to follow me. So I brought her to my bedroom and continued our unfinished business in multilateral positions. Top, down, left and right I geosteered her in any angle possible. And then, in one particular position that has kind of, interested me. It was just any typical doggy position, except with the 'tab', 'tab' sounds as I went faster. Then I got kind of inspired which has changed my life and I said to her:

'Tab, tab, tab, my name is Pratab...'.

I'd guess that's when I started to like my name.

hehehe.. cheers..

cock talk

2008-10-29T21:49:00.001-07:00

1. i support manchester united. they're the best team at the moment. i've been supporting them for more than 10 years since my arrival from the states. it's because of them i started playing football again apart from basketball.

2. i think the height of manchester united is during the cantona era. Cantona was king then. He was so good, not even cristiano ronaldo could match his legendary status. I even had my school trousers' tailored by the trademark of Cantona-7 at Sungai Wang. Back then, it was definitely the 'in' thing to have, just like the i-pod or the PSP. You're not cool if you don't sport a cantona-7 product. Aweks don't dig you out without the label.

3. Bought at wheeler dealer price from Blackburn (i think around 10 mill pounds), I can say that's the bargain of the century. That's a piss pay compared to the latest football transfers now.

4. Perhaps his ultimate contribution that led him to legendary status was to wrest back the premiership title and Man Utd became regulars in the champions league. It's the only english club that has ever achieved the treble, winning the EPL, FA, and most importantly the Champions league title.

5. Being a football fan for 10 years has a bit changed me a bit. During the early times seems that all opinions are biased to Man Utd. Even now, if you encountered a die-hard fan of Arsenal or Liverpool, they are just going to say their team is the best. I've observed lately the fans are becoming more mature, and their opinions are much honest and dare to criticize their own team's weakness and strengths as well.

6. So what do I think of the current football situation right now ? I think it's going a bit of a downside. There's too much money invested. Players' transfers' costs is equivalent to a small country's annual income. That's going to attract wrong kind of party. With the economic turmoil right now, it has become increasingly uncertain what would happen in the future.

7. Look at Man Utd. right now. Their major sponsors are the AIG, or the American Insurance Group. If I can recall, during the start of the economic crisis, AIG was on the verge of bankruptcy. This is due to the 'hedge fund' crisis that has lead the American economy to face the worst recession since the Great Depression in 1930's. What I worry, is that , if there's no sponsors, the club can't pay the player's wagers, and the players tend to leave the club, and ultimately would kill the game in totality.

8. Indirectly, I can correlate with the economic crisis and the football scene. In summary, if the economy goes bad to worse, we can expect the football scene to become chaotic. Worst, live coverage won't be available as TV companies are expected to pay a huge cost to finance and cushion high debts to the club. It's a sad situation.

cock talk

2008-10-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a pro-choice person. That means I do what I want to do. At this position I would have known what will be the aftermath upon a choice that has been taken. Whether it'll be good or otherwise that's a totally different story.

2. I believe in judgment. Given a situation, I would guess that we would have act upon a judgment that has been taken. Even though it's for good or immoral, we would have taken it after given a considerable amount of consideration.

3. It's a bit annoying when it's forbidden when we want to do something. They say it's bad, it's not good, it'll lead you to future complications. Oh fuck it, I think I deserve a liberty to do what I want to do.

4. Take cigarettes for example. The current government is relentlessly trying to hike up the prices under the justification of reducing the bad habits of the people. That is what I find, idiotic. We are fully aware of the consequences, thank you. Don't have to remind us more than that.

5. Smoking is good I dare say. Smoking fosters friendship. Smoking is the only common domain that bridges beyond race and creed. It's the one of the only way to start a descent conversation. Conversations such as "Do you have a light, " or "You got a ciggie" is an honest start. Nothing provocative, nothing offensive.

6. I'd say, instead of banning or enforcing to reduce smoking, encourage it. Yes, we are aware of the health complications, but hey, we don't live forever. Instead of stopping, educate on how to control the addiction. Smoke with style. Smoking with etiquettes and panache. The art of having a fine smoke.

reader's discretion

2008-10-28T03:33:00.000-07:00

1. I've been tempted to say that all the things that I've wrote is exactly spinning in my mind. I just write what I felt, without any holds barred. This is not one of those RPK blogs, but to tell you the truth, I'm kind of inspired by his writing.

2. To readers, i just want to say that whatever I write is , is, as it is . You may observe several grammatical or spelling errors, and several languages I've wrote is a bit crude.

3. I'm sorry if I don't include any pictures. I just feel that the mind can illustrate an imagination on its own, depending how the author describes a subject. I will be try to be more vivid and a bit abstract later in the future.

4. Anyhow, I'm more than excited to share my thoughts in the future.

mankind's greatest achievement

2008-10-28T02:36:00.000-07:00

1. It has not been raining in the klang valley for the past 2 days. It has been hot. In fact, bloody hot. I've been around town and managed to found that the peak temperature has been up to 34 degrees centigrade.

2. What sins have I done to deserve this. Not only I was sweating like a dog, it has also spoiled my new armani exchange shirt and jeans I've bought. Now I've got to wash it again.

3. Malaysia is a tropical country. It's a hot and humid country that rains almost everyday. It's like London, but a bit cooler. But for the past few years it has been not only hot that is centigrades closer to hell.

4. If the temperatures in near future raises up to 38 degrees, this would pose a fatal problem. Enzymes would deactivate at this temperature and stops functioning. Death would be so close that you won't realize it. Anyhow, it'll be a good thing. More people dying means less traffic. And that means I can go to work faster, and I can do my errands without facing the congestion ordeal.

5. This is what we had to face in pursuit of development. This is the sacrifice we had to undertake so that we can have what people termed it as "civilization". You can't have everything.

6. From here, I can sum it up that mankind's greatest achievement is not the invention of wheel. Nor fire, electricity, airplanes, or such. Mankind's greatest achievement is making the world a hotter place. From a geological context, this is the kind of achievement that would have prevented the next Ice Age.

my 2nd girlfriend

2008-10-27T20:47:00.000-07:00

1. I love my second gf. She always look hot in red and black. She doesn't talk much. And she's always be there when I need her. And, most importantly she doesn't mind me ferrying other girls with her.

2. I met her couple of years back, when I was posted in an petrochemical plant. Truthfully, it's not actually love in the first sight. She was a standard, normal looking girl. If I can assign it to a Malay, she'd be wearing a descent tudung with green baju kurung. Nothing more, nothing less. A nice round ass, closest.

3. But then, in hesitation, I took her. In all honesty as a recommendation from someone. And, when I accepted her, she was not entirely in good condition. But, as good gf's, she's always try to deliver her best. I took straight back to my place 360 km away.

4. As a student back then, and with limited pocket money, you could not do very much with the leftovers. Datings are always moderate. Nothing much that she and I can indulge. But one thing about her, she hates competition. If there's anything in sight, she'll run it over even though it'll ruin her at the end of the day.

5. I guess, throughout my relationship with her, she became a little bit naughty. This is because I managed to pamper her that costs me several hundreds ringgit upon completion of my training there. She became nasty. I like. I'd call her , "she devil". I've even tattooed her body with a devil wearing skirts. She's starting to look hot.

6. And so, when I go clubbing and picking up nice ladies, she's always be there. Sometimes we'd do threesome and she can just go on and on and on. Ah, what memories.

7. I'd travel everywhere with her. She's alright. She doesn't complain much. As long the basic elements are fulfilled, it's enough to make her happy.

8. As soon I got my job as an reservoir engineer, I decide to pamper her a bit. She's okay with it. In fact, she starts to look better. She even sounds better. I gave her some nice dark accesories and it's making heads turn. She's like a "mary jane" in me. Give me some gong, girl.

9. One bad night we were both caught by an enforcement officer. They found out several offensive things and slapped me with a huge fine. I was offended and sad of course. She had to undergo rehab and she became very different.

10. As times went on, I noticed that she's starting to become a little bit sick. I was quite worried because without her, my life would be useless. I'm half dead without her. I can't do my things. I had to do something for her.

11. Finally, I have saved up a huge lot for her recovery. I'd sent her to a specialist so that she can be reborn. It's not pretty, it's going to be a big pain and she'll never be the same again. But, I was very excited and optimistic.

12. She looked great after her makeover. She looks fantastic and sexy in red. She's like a porn star. I love her. From a descent tudung girl to a hot porn star. What an achievement.

13. Not enough, I decided her to give an upgrade. Perhaps this is the most expensive upgrade I've ever done. Nevertheless, I am very determined to get her done. Again, I've sent her to a specialist for a huge makeover. You're going to look great, baby.

14. As expected, she is in her prime after her makeover. With her it's like having an orgasm. She's faster, more furious, more noiser, and shamelessly agressive. Every time when I had it with her I'd be very tired. But it's allright, I was very, very satisfied. She'll run like a rat to your shoulders.

15. I'd take anywhere with her then. She still doesn't mind if I dated another girl at the same time. In fact, she doesn't mind if I had sex with her watching. She's a role model to women worldwide.

16. If you're wondering whom I referring to, well, I'm afraid it's going to be a bit disappointing. I think it's better I leave to the readers to figure it out.

cheers

sometimes not enough is just suffice (aug 2008)

2008-10-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

This is an archive blog of mine, dated a while ago. Viewers @ reader discretion as the language I've used is quite vulgar. Peace.

1. I just had a short but a pleasant conversation with a group of people not a long time ago. It was quite a junior bunch, just bunch of people just got hired in a job.

2. In a certain way, they reminded of me of how i am when i was newly hired. All full with hope, ambition, and idealistic expectation. They even thought it's a fullfilling dream. It was truly a nice phase to go to. Nice and colorful phase, with no significant problems or whatsover. It was presumed that this must be the joys of entering the working life.

3. They were talking of ideal subjects, to be promoted within a short period of years, welcoming the opportunities given to them, and all the working privileges they going to enjoy. It's all nice ice cream talk with a cherry on top.

4. As I witnessed them, I started thinking, what piece of fucked up reality they're going to face with. I'm just giving them couple of months to face the , fuckup reality. It's really that hopeless.

5. Worse still, the problem of these bunch is that they thought they are so big. Some of them were arrogant. Because of the position they have, (and it's not a big deal anyway) they must be fed with a silver spoon in their mouth and tolerate nothing less. It's all bullshit to me.

6. I can be considered lucky because I didn't start like that. In fact, my starting point is so difficult, that my quality of living is worse than I were a student. It's difficult to live in a city that can be so, so cruel. I was treated like a house nigger. Being broke, un-respected, is not something anyone to cope with.

7. Perhaps being treated as a house nigger and not being appreciated, has made me a bit more determined, and preserved than most of them. During that time, I just tell myself, "I'm not going to be treated in this shit anymore. Fucking arrogant gov't servants, you smalltime fuckers are not going to mistreat me anymore." It was more similar like that. Then I started to work real hard, apply more jobs, and at the same time learn some academics while having the free time.

8. Eventually a job offer came to me. It was not exactly what I wanted, but it's much better than before. Then I realized that I really got to make this work. So my first assignment or project was to see this failed project to a success. That's when I started having a bit of ideal thoughts.

9. I have tried to see things in a positive perspective to the extent that I did not see the losses of it. It's so difficult, getting the understanding itself requires years of working experience. Expectations were high, and pressure started to fill up real fast. "I'm going to be fucked up, how am i going to make this fucking thing work ? " . Realizing after 5 months of to capture the understanding, i just came to a conclusion where this assignment is way too ahead and too difficult for me.

10. The lesson i would probably learn is that sometimes it's good to be realistic in an optimistic way. There's a reason something got fucked up. But no matter how fucked up it is, in the end there's something to gain for. So, I applied for another assignment and again, this is a fucked up project. Unfortunately I was so stubbon to accept the fact that this project is again a fucked up project.

11. Nevertheless, it's kind of a fucked project I want to invest my career on. This would definitely pave my way to the future, even though I don't know how. Nobody guided me, I'm all alone and without any motivation or resources. I remained my preserverence and have the blind belief that this will work eventually.

12. Indeed, my gamble paid off. I got offered with a new team, and even though it's a same project, the scenario is much, much better. I was quite fucking glad because it was so much better that it's the best in the country. I never had such a fucking determination, and so much fucking grateful that all the sufferings would eventually paid off in such an elegant way.

13. Truth is, karma does exist. What you have suffered, eventually of what you learn you will benefit and use it in your future opportunities. This is not a fucking motivation talk, but whatever fuck you're doing make sure you get it done to the bone. Nobody should stop you and if there are, tell them to fuck off.

14. Perhaps the only problem is for those who does not know how to appreciate might have repeatedly gone over the same suffering again. Or they did not realize, or worse, they just accept getting fucked is a fucking fate.

sin tax

2008-10-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

1. I'm a regular guy. As they say, boys would be boys. I would tend to do what guys normally do. I could not say that I'm a good person, nor a bad one. I share the same typical habits, etc. It all written in my DNA.

2. I'm going to write about boozing. Why booze ? Well, all normal blokes do. We do it, but not to the extend of overdoing it. The first issue about boozing is that it's becoming more and more expensive. It's stupid and I blame politics for it.

3. I can still recall that a bottle costs no more than RM200 back then. Now it's more than RM300. RM380 would get you a measly small Jack Daniels in a club. What has the world gotten into.

4. I working on a pay check. In a country where labor is cheap, there's not much I can get my hands onto. I had to study and work hard so that I can secure myself a professional position in hoping for better pay. Unfortunately, even in a professional arena we are paid lower than any other developing country in the world. Even a golf caddy earns better than me. How absurd.

5. So, in the pursuit of getting a booze, I had to share with couple of friends who shared a common inspiration. A bottle for 5 blokes is just adequate. RM50 had been enough per person to get ourselves wasted. Now, with the sin tax has raised, we had to fork out more than RM80 for a decent whiskey. Such travesty should have never been occurred. Seems that we are paying more and getting less.

6. I blame politics and government for this one. Sure, they can just rise up the tax so that it will contain people's bad habits. This is bullshit. We are slowly developing to a mature society, and we know how to control our habits. Look at Amsterdam. Even drugs are legal, their society are much more developed than ours.

7. Alas, for blokes out there, they only place you can source for cheap booze are duty-free shops. I'll be you're not that intellectually challenged enough to locate one. Nevertheless, booze can be really cheap out there whereas a bottle of Jim Beam costs only RM28. That's right, RM28. Even my phone bills is more expensive than that.

A prelude of things to write ( he.he)

2008-01-08T20:15:00.000-08:00

Year of rat.

I was wrong. How ignorant of me. It's not year of dog, but the year of rat. Arggh, I feel so stupid! But it's better to be wrong early than late I guess.

Rat ? How do I interpret the year of rat ? How do we define or our general understanding of a rat ?

Well, there's a lot of perspective about the year of rat.

Generally, modern society defined rats as dirty mammals, creature of plague diseases and all of the dirty attributes associated with it. That's all about it .

How about the positive side ? Rats are generally robust creatures, able to survive almost any where, and self-productive. What that relates to the new year ? Here is my interpretation:

Rats are generally opportunist creatures. They explore and willing to risk to find resources.

One of my resolutions in 2008 is to channel my thoughts in this blog. I think it's healthy, rather keeping it to myself, and at the same time it'll bring me something back too. I've managed to list some topics so that I can be pretty much occupied to write;

Cars : Best of 2007 and what to look for in 2008
Experience : Properties chasing for people like us
The evil inside: Having a spare tire
The joys of : My personal list of booze in getting wasted
Issue : Charity - sincerity or plain hypocracy ?
What would you do of : If you had RM10 k ?
Home design and architecture : An engineering perspective

A diary might not be appropriate for me to write, because it's bloody routine, and truthfully everyone experiences it in a very much similar way. Why should I write about how am I go to work, sleep, that is the exactly same thing as everyone else ? This is just my opinion. I've got to write something that got substance. I guess this is the only way to record my thoughts in a productive way.

I'm going to be more vulgar. Not just writing neat english and all that. I'm going to write that speaks from myself. So mind if my language is quite coarse, but hey, not everyone is perfect either.

2007: A co-domain of my thoughts

2007-12-23T12:19:00.000-08:00

Independent or sheer arrogance ?

They say too much of a good thing is not good at all. And it's true, too because it generally applies to everything. We all want all the good things in life, that's right, but in a certain circumstance we have to embrace all the bad situations that happen to us so that we will appreciate all what we all have now.

There is a major difference between an idealistic and realistic world. What we have been taught, is the ideal things that we should have done, the ideas whe should believe, ideal living lifestyle that culture have brought us, ideal this, and ideal that. But none, whatsover, have been brought up to the realism of life. The world, or life is as REAL as it can get. We are all bounded by the laws of physics that until now, we are still unable to describe it accurately.

If this world is ideal, then we should belong in heavens. But for heavens sake, we're on earth !

We are not trained to reat realistic-ly when we face difficult situations. Why? Because in ideal teachings, there is no such thing as a difficult situation. It's just campaigns the positive morals that should be inculcated into individuals, ie, 'be good at this, do good in that, always be hardworking and everything will fall in place" . If so, why there so much suffering in the world ? We are not lazy. We are not, not good. We tend to do the best thing in every execution, but still bad things happen! What is wrong here ?

So what point am i getting to ? Okay, in the real world, as i see it, it not ideal at all. We are living at a delicate balance of negative and positive things that occur to us. Some people define it as karma. Things don't happen as we plan, because there are almost always an unexpected things that could happen along the way. The best way to face this kind of situation is to manually face the problem, deal with it, and prevent it from happening again. This will definitely have an impact to others initally, but facing and dealing with can 100% prevent from impacting the others. We have to face certain amount of difficulties so that we can learn from it, and at the same time creating methods from happening again.

I recently had a heated discussion with a friend lately that subsidy is a poison. He said it as an aid to a certain group of people in meeting a certain objective. In my belief, initial subsidy is very good, but it is only good when applied once. The continuity of granting subsidies would weaken the individual by making them more reliant on others rather assessing self potential and creating a dependent mindset.

An example of 'poison' subsidy ? Well, the easient example is a defacto case of giving cheaper quote to a certain group of people because they are economically weak. It is very good, if the provision is granted at the first place. The same set of people will ask for subsidy again even though they can afford it without having the subsidy. Worse still, they still defend of having the subsidy because they still classify themselves as economically weak and 'in time' they will eradicate the aid. Bullshit, as long they are still around, they always be a subsidy. This will only create an unfair battleground to others, leading to accumulated envy, jealousy, and amuk in a future time.

So what now ? Well, as they say, we sometimes have to learn things the hard way. Yes that is 10% true. Having learning the hard way will inculcate positive attributes to attitudes, ie endurance, preserverence, or whatever you can associate with. But this time is different. Now it's all about timing. Time is the ultimate governing factor of life. It is the most important variable to concentrate with. Time is associated with intelligence that we have so that we can make the most out of the time that we have.

The good thing about the human race is the supreme adaptability given all the conditions they face. And it's due to the supreme engineering of the human brain, they can create ways to adapt the situation in the pursuit of acquiring advantages to them. In this context, this applies to our supreme mechanism of thinking that will allow us to establish more better ways to pursue our objectives. We have to be independent, we must know how to be independent and dependent intelligently. This will ensure that whatever objectives we have to meet is achieved with respect.

I'm not campaigning arrogance. Arrogance is a negative attribute of independence without the help of others, but actually needs some serious help.

2007 :Slowly living in the fast lane

2007-12-23T11:05:00.000-08:00

2007 has been a rollercoaster ride for me. I have faced new experiences that are totally different. It was so different that part of my life has changed. A lot of things happened in 2007, and it happened so fast that sometimes I could not catch up. A lot of good things and bad as well. But I'm happy it happened, because in one way I have matured over time.

My friends & I : Chilling at PH in second-quarter 2007

Chapter 1 : Calculated move ?

In definite truth all the events that has happened to me has never been so surprising. I never planned all these. All I simply expect is to have a better year than before. Previously I had a dead-end project in which I can't capitalize my potential, all efforts I have invested did not give returns I expected. It was demoralizing, and I was even more disappointed that I could not do anything to improve it. It was too technically difficult. All I had is just a blind drive hoping that it'll get better and seize any opportunity that comes along.

And all it needs is just a blind hope.

A new year comes along, and new and fresh things came at the same time. I have become more focused, more selective in whatever I'm involved in. Things at work and home remained the same, but a distant feeling in me sensed that it'll be different onwards. Now I just need a solid calculated target.

All these while I'm facing a lengthy battle in my finances. It's always a struggle every month trying to be optimistic to be financially savvy and at the same time trying to keep up with my tastes. It's more towards a mental battle because you have to save up to be free financially and at the same time trying to reward yourself for what it's all worth. Lust and logic always don't go along. Some times I lost, and some times I win. But what's more irony is that it always remains the same at the end of the year. But this time is going to be different, I thought. I'm sure it will.

After a long thought, I've came certain goals that I want to achieve at 2007. First, I'm going to bail out of my financial freedom, and secondly, I must purchase a property. Property ? Are you kidding me? Why not? All these while I have wasted for nothing and now it's time to capitalize what you've worth. And thirdly, I'm going to have a good career and a good car. Damn, sometimes I can be either be too optimistic or too conservative. But I must achieve this. Otherwise it's just going to be another wasteful year.

Indeed it happened. I didn't know all it requires is a vision and a drive to achieve what I want.

Chapter 2 : The first breakthrough

People always say that opportunities come when you least expect it. But when it comes, never ever hesitate to take it because chances are it'll never being offered again. That can never be so true for me. I've planted a seed of mindset in me in the beginning year that I should take whatever that comes in sight, and always keep an eye and ask for any new chances. I should take things differently. Do it differently. Change and modify my mode of work, how I do things. Everything.

It's easier said than done, I say to myself. Old habits die hard. It certainly did.

Indeed it is. A new battle has to be fought. I have to fight against myself. Am I crazy ?
Everyday is a tougher battle to fight. A lot of times I lose because I have no external motivation. What should I do ? I can't have any success if I'm do not have any support. Everybody is so stuffed to themselves in achieving their goals. I have no guidance. But wait. I see some development in my work. I can use this to channel my efforts. It's a distant effort, but who knows, let's see what I can do.

To shed some light, I'm working on a engineering project that does not have a credible reputation. It's a downright failure. It's difficult, and what's more difficult is that I have to shoulder this responsibility. I have to make it work. I got to. But I'm not technically qualified, so how the hell can I do this ? It'll take at least 2 years of god damn experience to do this ! Again my blind, my ridiculous motivation took me to undertake this assignment. I've always have this stupid drive in my mind to take whatever challenges that it sesems impossible. A lot of times it failed, however. This is because whatever I do, I push myself to the edge to deliver. All I have except talent . Talent is what I've missing because that what makes the impossible effortless. Honestly I have toned down my wild enthusiasm because of so many failures I've gone through. Opportunities came a few. Chances of success goes down. Sometimes I feel rather worthless because there's nothing I can do. It's just too difficult for me. But in one foolish way I cling on to this project because of no concrete reason.

Suddenly there was hope. Not a golden one, but a distant chance. Why not, I've thought. This could be my very last chance. I'm not letting this one go. Not ever. My preserverance paid off handsomely. It took me one month to be given an opportunity to work with the best people. The same project, but what the hell. This is my golden chance. I could never let this go. Technically I was overjoyed , and still is. The only challenge I foresee is whether I'm up to this challenge. Of course, by all means. Now it's my turn to deliver.

Chapter 3 : Entrance of the new me ?

At the certain extent, I've beginning to experience a rather new phase in myself. Quite a significant difference as compared to my life before. I've bought myself a property, done some engine exchange to my car and things at work at the same time.

I never thought this would happen so fast. What a change. But I'm happy with it in one way.

I've termed this as an upgrade of my life. It feels so good. I just don't know how to quantify it. But a newer set of constraints I have to face onwards. Nevermind, it's always going to like that. That's okay.

Since all things happened exactly at the same time, my character and my thinking has been modified as well. I see things in a lot longer term, I've become more calm, less stressful, and a bit more focused in what I do .

Nevertheless, I've got to bear in mind that I shall not be carried away in these things. Syok sendiri is okay, but too much of it is masturbation. Too much indulgence can be a bad thing.

A new entrance in my life ? I agree to that. But this is just the beginning. I've also experienced some bad encounters lately, but maybe I'll elaborate that later. In overall, I can just say it's pretty a changing year. 2008 here I come .

I'll post in some new pics along the way.